Marriage, in its truest form, is a partnership meant to reflect the love, grace, and patience that God extends to us daily. It’s a union where two people, so uniquely different in their personalities and perspectives, come together to grow, learn, and serve one another. One of the most humbling lessons I’ve learned on this journey is the importance of waiting in our marriage—not just for answers, but for the beauty of what happens when we allow our differences to create a deeper, more connected marriage.
Why Waiting Matters in Marriage
We, as wives, long for a deeper connection with our husbands. We crave those meaningful conversations that allow us to share our hearts, to feel seen and understood. But the question is, do we give our husbands the space to share with us in their own way? Or do we unconsciously fill in the blanks for them, anticipating their responses based on our own expectations? How often do we expect them to respond in the same way we would, and when they don’t, how do we handle it?
When Your Husband Processes Differently
I’ll be honest: I’ve had my fair share of moments where I’ve had the perfect, well-thought-out response to an issue. After thinking about it for days, I’ve rehearsed my words, tweaked them just right, and crafted a message that I believe will hit home. As I prepare to share my thoughts with my husband, Steve, there’s a quiet sense of pride inside me. I’m about to speak the truth in a way that will surely help him see things clearly, to recognize the depth of my feelings and understand exactly where I’m coming from.
And then I wait…
I wait for that response. The eloquent, poetic reply I imagine will flow out of him, full of empathy and understanding. I sit there, hanging onto every word, waiting for the moment where our souls connect over this carefully articulated thought. But then, it happens…
He yawns.
The words that follow aren’t anything like the grand, heartfelt response I was expecting. They’re short. Simple. Not even remotely on the subject I just presented. A few words, maybe a chuckle, and that’s it.
In that moment, I’m tempted to feel hurt. “How could he not care?” I think to myself. “Why doesn’t he see the seriousness of this?” In my mind, I can’t help but wonder: Has he ever thought about this? Does he even care about what I’m saying?
What God Taught Me Through the Silence
But as the years have gone by, God has patiently shown me something: Steve doesn’t always respond right away because he needs time, just like I did when I first felt this issue stir in my heart. I didn’t have my perfect words immediately either. I needed time to sort through my thoughts, to make sense of the emotions swirling within me. So why should I expect him to respond in the heat of the moment, especially when his way of processing is different from mine?
This is where God’s grace has transformed my perspective. In the early days of our marriage, I fought against our differences. I thought our dissimilarities meant we were incompatible. I believed the lie that our opposite ways of handling issues would create tension rather than connection. But as God continued to refine me, I began to see the beauty in our differences.
Steve’s need for time to reflect and think before speaking has taught me the value of patience. It’s helped me understand that his silence is not a sign of indifference, but rather a sign of him processing what I’ve said. When I wait—patiently, without rushing him—I am allowing him the space to respond in his own time, to share his thoughts when he is ready, not when I am. And over the years, I’ve learned that the waiting isn’t just about him—it’s about trusting in God’s timing and God’s design for our marriage.
Embracing Differences as a Strength, Not a Setback
God made us different for a reason. Our contrasting ways of thinking and processing create a beautiful balance. Steve and I may approach problems differently, but together, we are stronger. We each bring something unique to the table, something that complements the other. And through it all, God is teaching us to depend on Him and each other more deeply.
Trusting God’s Timing in Your Conversations
So now, when I share my thoughts with Steve, I remind myself to wait. I give him the space to gather his thoughts, knowing that his response will come in time. And when it does, I trust that it will be just what I need to hear—maybe not in the way I expected, but in a way that speaks to the heart of our marriage.
God has used these moments to teach me that love isn’t always about having the perfect words in the perfect moment. Sometimes, love is about patience, about embracing the differences that make us who we are, and about trusting that, in the end, the timing is always in His hands. And as I wait, I learn to love Steve in a deeper, more graceful way—just as God has always loved me.
Has God used waiting to strengthen your marriage? I’d love to hear your story—share in the comments or send me a message. And if this encouraged you, please share it with another wife who needs the reminder that patience is powerful and God is always working—even in the silence.