Training up a teen is one of the most stretching seasons of Christian parenting. When teens grow up, there are so many pressures, and the verse in Proverbs 22:6 — rings especially true in this season.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it”
- What are their interests?
- What are they good at?
- What do they enjoy doing?
And what qualities has God given them so that they might glorify Him through what they pursue?
What Does It Mean to Be Training Up a Teen?
As a homeschooling mom in the thick of these years, ages 11–17 is no joke, friends, I find myself constantly asking these questions. Training up a teen is not for the faint of heart. It requires prayer, discernment, and occasionally a large cup of coffee you forgot where you’ve placed 3 times.
It can be such a struggle for me as a mom to let go and let God. Slowly over time, the child grows from dependency to independence in many areas of their life — and this is healthy. It just doesn’t feel healthy to my mother’s heart.
The Shift in Christian Parenting During the Teen Years
From Pigtails to Paychecks
One day they ask if I can do their hair. The next, you find yourself driving your teen all over the countryside hunting for “Help Wanted” signs like you’re on some kind of rural scavenger hunt.
It wasn’t long ago that I was shopping in the toddler aisle, finding cute matching dresses for my girls. Somehow those same little people now drive themselves to the mall for a fun shopping spree with their peers. They don’t even ask me which outfit matches…The audacity.
And then there’s the job hunt.
Training Up a Teen for Work and Responsibility
As Christian parents of teens, we spend years teaching character, responsibility, and biblical values. Then one day, real-life responsibility knocks at the door — sometimes in steel-toed boots.
My son, now nearing his late teens, has found himself faced with opportunities to move out for a job far away from home. He is responsible, capable, and he is ready.
And yet.
As parents, the discernment of whether he should stay home or move for better job opportunities presses hard on our hearts. We find ourselves advising caution. But then the deeper question whispers:
Is this a door that God is opening?
Or are we desperately trying to pull that door shut just to give ourselves a few more moments of normality?
Letting Go as a Christian Parent
Parenting teenagers is a constant balancing act between guidance and release.
We are called to raise independent adults — not perpetual children. But the process of letting go can feel like peeling off a bandage very, very slowly.
There’s a shift that happens in these teen years:
- From instruction to counsel
- From control to conversation
- From directing to discerning
Our role changes. And sometimes we don’t get the memo until after we’ve tried to micromanage a situation that clearly requires prayer instead.
The Bible speaks often about wisdom and work. For our teens stepping into employment, these truths are anchors.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” Colossians 3:23
Ultimately, the type of job doesn’t really matter as much as the posture of the heart within that job.
- Are our teens conducting themselves with integrity?
- Are they honoring authority?
- Are they giving glory to God in all they do?
“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” Proverbs 16:3
That is the real résumé.
When Opportunity Knocks and Mom Panics
When an opportunity requires distance — physical distance — that’s when the real stretching begins.
We can handle a part-time job at the local feed store, and we can handle early shifts and packed lunches and steel-toed boots by the back door.
But moving away? That’s different.
It forces us to confront whether we truly believe what we’ve been teaching all these years.
Do we trust that God is sovereign over our children’s paths?
“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
As parents, we plan. We advise, and weigh the pros and cons. We imagine worst-case scenarios at 2 a.m.… Just me?
But ultimately, the Lord establishes their steps. Not us. And that truth is both comforting and mildly terrifying.
Raising Teens to Work for God’s Glory
In today’s culture, work is often about:
- Status
- Income
- Prestige
- Independence
But as Christian parents, we are called to teach something radically different.
Work is worship.
When our teens understand that even sweeping floors or serving customers can glorify God, it changes everything. There is no “small” job when done unto the Lord.
“Do everything as unto the Lord.” Colossians 3:23
Imagine the witness of a young person who:
- Works diligently
- Shows up on time
- Speaks respectfully
- Refuses gossip
- Handles money honestly
That kind of integrity shines brightly in a world that often cuts corners.
Our goal isn’t just to raise employable teens.
It’s to raise faithful ones.
The Emotional Reality No One Talks About
Let’s be honest.
There is grief in this season. No one tells you that launching teens into adulthood feels a little like standing at the edge of a dock, watching a boat drift further away.
You’re proud and you’re excited.
And you’re blinking back tears because wasn’t this just the child who needed help tying their shoes?
As Christian mothers, we know children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). But gifts are not meant to be hoarded.
They are meant to be stewarded — and eventually released.
And that release requires faith.
Practical Encouragement for Parents in the “Help Wanted” Season
If you’re in this season too, here are a few gentle reminders I’m preaching to myself:
1. Pray more than you panic.
When fear creeps in, turn it into prayer. God loves your teen even more than you do.
2. Focus on character over career.
Ask: Is this job shaping them into someone more Christlike?
3. Invite conversation, not control.
Teens respond better to discussion than decrees.
4. Remember your training matters.
Those years of scripture memory, chores, family devotions, and hard conversations were not in vain.
5. Trust the Holy Spirit.
The same Spirit who called you to parent them is at work in their hearts.
Are We Holding the Door Too Tight?
Sometimes I wonder:
Are we resisting certain opportunities because they are unwise?
Or because they are uncomfortable?
There’s a difference.
As parents, discernment is crucial. But so is honesty with ourselves.
If God is opening a door, we don’t want to stand in front of it simply because it disrupts our “normal.” Our comfort cannot be the compass.
And yet, neither can recklessness.
This is where prayer, wise counsel, and unity in marriage matter deeply. Steven and I have had many conversations about what is wisdom and what is fear. Those two can look remarkably similar in the dark.
Training Up a Teen Is a Long Game
The verse in Proverbs 22:6 doesn’t promise immediate visible results. It speaks of when they are old.
Parenting teenagers is part of the long game.
We don’t see the full fruit yet.
We see glimpses:
- A respectful response
- A wise decision
- A humble apology
- A responsible paycheck
These are small but powerful pieces of evidence of God’s grace at work.
What This Season Is Really About
If you’re standing in the “Help Wanted” season like I am — driving on back roads, praying over job applications, wrestling with the idea of your teen moving out — here’s the heart of it all:
This season is not about losing control.
It’s about transferring trust.
From your hands to theirs. And ultimately, to God’s.
Our teens were never ours to keep. They were ours to prepare.
Prepare them to:
- Seek God first
- Live honorably
- Work diligently
- Make wise decisions
- Walk in integrity
If we have pointed them consistently to Christ, then we can release them with confidence — not because we trust the world, but because we trust the One who holds it.
So when the job offer comes…
When the moving-out is discussed…
Remember this:
God is not surprised by their future. He is already there.
And the same faithful Lord who sustained you through toddler tantrums, math tears, and teenage mood swings will sustain you through this too.
Christian parenting teens is a season of stretching and surrender. Training up a teen isn’t about controlling their path, but about faithfully pointing them toward Christ and trusting God with the outcome.
And as we send them into the world — whether across town or across provinces — may they echo back to us lives that quietly declare:
“I am working heartily, as for the Lord.”
And maybe, just maybe, they’ll still call to ask how to fold their laundry. One can hope.
Final Encouragement:
If you’re standing in the “Help Wanted” season too, I want you to know you are not alone.
Are you navigating first jobs, late shifts, or those big conversations about moving out? Are you wrestling with that tender space between wisdom and fear? I would truly love to hear what this season looks like in your home. Leave a comment below and let’s encourage one another as we train up these teens for God’s glory — one prayer, one deep breath, and one surrendered step at a time.
And if this encouraged your heart today, consider sharing it with another mom who might be quietly walking this same road. Sometimes we just need the reminder that God is already ahead of our children — and faithfully holding what we are learning to release.
We’re in this together.